Leap of faith

Remove those rose tinted spectacles
And, how would people look like
If I could see them as they are
The crumpled hearts, the role players
The mediocre and the successful
Come, a retrospection!
The comfortable view of life
The nagging optimism, innate in me
What would happen to ‘em when I learn
Through my morning paper and coffee
Its not quite what I thought it was
Too much for a retrospection; Bitter yet?
Then I chose to take the leap of faith,
With faith in the Universe, took my feet off it
When I left the sites I’ve been before
Oblivious to the repercussions of my actions
Away from the place of insecurity and of the unknown
I discovered…. Oh blimey! the universe shall be mine!

For Forever and Beyond

This is not my attempt to have an eye-catchy title to draw visitors onto this page. It’s not even shedding new light on the nature and function of emotions, drawing on the latest theories in evolutionary psychology and cognitive neuroscience, as well as the older, established motivational and psychodynamic traditions. Rather, this one’s heartfelt, from the deepest of emotions, from the strangest of desires as they now seem to be and from the repercussions of all the dreadful and pleasant invasions into life’s most beautiful scenes.

Ever had your parents tell you that they are very proud to have a kid like you? (Yea, me neither! ) Ever thought how you would feel like if one of your deepest fears is conquered? Ever wanted to go back to School and redo everything you had done as a kid? Ever had a certain someone who you thought was amazingly gorgeous and extremely pleasant come up to you and start small talk? Ever had your parents/friends get you something that you badly wanted but you couldn’t afford to pay for? Ever felt so good about being yourself that everything you talked made so much sense to you? Ever felt happy because your advise had helped a friend of yours get through something extremely crabby? – Ever had anyone say ‘Hello, hi’ s from the bottom of their heart that it made your day. If none of that ever happened to you, you should stop reading this post right away.

Some emotions are powerful, really really powerful. They’re so powerful because without them we are not what we are today. We are always in their grip, no matter what heights we reach professionally or personally. Some of them really compel you to do stuff which you would have never imagined (Except for women hoping that men would stop smoking after marriage – May be that’s not as powerful as an emotion as women claim to be – Pun intended). They kind of give us an ‘abstract’ intelligence, where we tend to do good things and better things when we’re possessed. It is indeed more like being in a very good state of mind which might result in appropriate hormones being triggered and carving a new biological phenomenon or whatever. But the point is, we never notice the hormones, we never notice any impact of any biological factor has gotten on us. All we feel is a force – one that’s driving us to do better things, and that is heartfelt. And, that’s what actually matters. There’re things beyond science. They are just magic. Under them, we’re always more safer.

What if, we were told or forced to accept that we saw things from a rear view mirror? What if we were told that, the things that happened in real were not as blissful as we thought they were? Does that mean, we failed to operate on them? Or perhaps, they failed us. It’s a bag of mixed feelings when you get to know those things that you always cherished were actually all made up by people and never really existed in real. It’s some kind of virtual reality we’ve lived in all our life thinking about non-existent things and hypothetical feelings. That’s when we realize, we were cheated, perhaps by the nature itself. We were defeated and were asked to recheck our principles of living, trust and faith.

Our desires, that we formulated based on those assumptions about those things are no longer valid because those things dint really exist in the first place. We did somethings and we did not do some, because of those hypotheses we framed by ourselves, for us. We thought we would be better suited to be in some way than other. We wanted to get so close to those things that we gave up on a number of other things, some good, some bad and some ugly. Sometimes fate betrays us. We think we’re going a great deal but suddenly fate takes away something from us for the strangest of reasons and compels us to live our life in the absence of that. Yes, people share things to ease their pain. But there are always certain things that are private. Private to the very individual for we don’t even want our mind to know about it, but keep to heart because, we don’t want the intelligence of our mind to nullify the purity and innocence of those things. Somethings we cherished the most are not with us anymore. Nature has them in it’s lap, it’s taken away those from us. The things are so lost that in the process of searching for them, we will find ourself, we’ll find the real us and find a new meaning to live.

But of course, it hurts, not because those things happened but because we feel betrayed, but because our method of living has been questioned. But because, we have a story people could talk about. It really sucks. But the reality we once lived in and lost it or the virtual really we’ve lived in by assuming things was aesthetic enough to stay with us for a life time. If we cherished and treasured them enough, they would be living with us for forever and beyond.

The Land of Gods

I know the title is a bit misleading and  some of the blokes who are reading this, must already be half expecting that I’d talk about mythology and even show ‘em some youtube videos about Badrinath or Hrishikesh. Sorry to disappoint you, I’d not talk even a bit of it, but would talk about Godliness in India in general and I’d do that with utmost respect, sincerity and admiration.(Like you are gonna believe it!)

I was told by a friend of mine last week that, he’d seen God in his dream. And he goes, “how cool is that?”. I mean, how cool is that really? It scared the crap out of me. But I was half hoping that he’d seen some sex god (remember kamasutra? – Well Indian gods are cool, you see!) and I casually asked him, “Which god?” and there it all began. The lecture about how he’d seen a specific God (no names, but apparently extremely powerful one) and how he was asked to do stuff in his dream by God and he was gonna be doing that. And I was left to utter those three magical words, those three magical words that I’d never thought I’d utter in the context of God ever, “What the F…”. Because for an absolute jackass world like today, seeing God in your dreams and having been told stuff to do by him (See, I’m male-chauvinistic) is an indication that somebody is watching us and how is that cool? Its bloody scary, if anything!

I immediately retorted to my old friend Google to find out about similar occurrences and each one of the results is remarkably scarier and more frightening than the one before. Its just how a person changes suddenly. What does that mean really? You can be a badass for as long as you can and suddenly one day, God is all pissed at you and he shows up and goes, “Yo dude! enough of being a badass, now start doing what I say, I’d take you to paradise someday”. Its like God only appears to bad asses of all people. I think he sees a potential in them, “Oh this dude has been the best in the bad ass business. Let me use him” sorts. And Indian mythology (or Indian fiction alternatively. ) has convincing examples about how God appeared before all of those who prayed for him and the last such known and prominent occurrences were observed in 1800s by a bunch of wannabe historians and fishermen. Since then, apart from one or two guest appearances here and there, there hasn’t been much of an activity from God’s side. (All though Indian mythological experts believe that my birth has got something to do with that – but let’s not talk about it now).  So the whole pattern of God’s appearances over the centuries made me think, if there was indeed a reason or theory behind all this, what is that? Why can I not see God as frequently as I could’ve if it was 200 years ago?

An informative article I’d read sometime ago made me knowledgeable about the fact that we have 3 crores of Indian gods. And its been the case for centuries. There has always been 3 crores of ‘em. Given that Gods are not known to dying, the production must have stopped somewhere. Either they have all become homo or started using condoms. If they were a software company, they would have filed for bankruptcy by now.  Anyhoo, coming back to the reasoning for not seeing Gods actively with us of late is got to do with the increase in Indian population I suppose. Its more like a demand-supply problem. When it was only some 2 crores of us praying it was easier for Gods to consider. As a matter of act, most of ‘em were on bench with no projects then. Almost all the time, it was like 2-3 Gods showing up for one guy and then they might even start arguing for we all know, They might be going, “Bro, he called me bro”.. “No bro, he called me”.. and if it was a South Indian god, he would be going, “What da? why are you here ra? He called me da, you go off no”..  Now the demand is huge and the same guys would be going, “What ra idiot, he called you, why are you not going?”.. and the other one would be, “No loser, he called you”.. and the third one might be tweeting, “Ha ha ha! they are fighting about who has to go while in real I’m called”.

My intention is not to degrade or disrespect Gods and by god! it has not got anything to do with God not helping me find a date for Valentine’s day this year. And I’m not definitely high. It’s all in good humor and let’s keep it at that.  I guess Gods would be ok with it and wouldn’t take offense at me, if at least this post could make one of the readers giggle. Hope you had a good time reading it.

The Notion of being Free-Spirited

If something on this world was highly overrated, the notion of being free spirited is right up there. I have often times done things under the disguise of being free-spirited and later discovered I was being plain selfish and satisfying my own greed, ego, self interest or whatever. I was also under this impression for long that being free-spirited is not seeking help. Ah! what a trap to fall for!

Not that I’m extremely proud of it or have ever considered it to be cool, but only perhaps it has taken me longer than usual to understand the world around me and come to appreciate it. Better later than never I suppose. But of late what I have come to realize is, it ain’t just me who’d fell trap to it. What is ironic is how the entire notion of being free-spirited is ill-conceived. Most of us couldn’t really differentiate between being free-spirited and being selfish or sometimes even random. Is it free-spirited nature when you commit a crime because you want to do it? Is it free-spirited ideology when you pick on a religion and humiliate others because you think that is cool? Is it free spirited when you jump from a top of a building because you felt like doing it? Or you are just being insanely crazy and random?

Being free-spirited requires a lot of things from us. It requires us to not have contradictory beliefs. It requires us to be rational. Suppose you want to do X. There are a number of questions you have to ask yourself. Do you have a reason to do X? Does the fact constitute a reason for you to X? Is there a contradictory belief that constitutes for you to not do X? Even if one of these questions is not answered, you ought to think twice before subscribing to your all-so-cool free-spirited attitude. In short, its a simple reasoning question. If only your premise holds good, your conclusion (to be free-spirited) should follow.

Its not something we have acquired all of a sudden. We progressively grow into this as we age. We hear most kids complaining to their parents that its their life and they can take care of it. We hear people say “its my business”, when they get defensive about something. So having to take our own decisions is something we have been obsessed with for long. There is not a single person who wouldn’t cherish the power of decision making. So its always been there with us. What changed all of a sudden is not the insatiable hunger to just take our own decisions but the crazy obsession to make a point to the world around us that we are free-spirited and subsequently the appetite to crave for attention.

What most of us fail to realize is being free doesn’t mean we are not supposed to seek help. It tells us to be independent as well as to be co-dependent. Its never about the egoistic “I”, its always about the “I” and the collective “we” or the influence of “I” on the collective “We”. Hence, its more of a responsibility than comfort. There are not many ‘free-spirited’ thinkers in the world, not real ones. For us to grow into one, its not arrogance that’ll take us there, reasoning hopefully will.

No value embodiment lecture, this! I just had to get it outta me. Period.

The Romance that Connects

This day, two months ago, 6th November 2011 to be precise, something incredible happened in my life and as much as I wanted to hold it back I simply couldn’t seem to do it.  The actualization of the expression often solicits the natural in us. And this one is long due from me.

I’ve been attending so many weddings of late that I don’t remember the last time I had dinner at home. Pun aside, what makes the weddings incredibly joyous than the wedding per se is the connection between two people and further two families; getting politically registered. As much as I’m happy for all my friends and relatives who have embarked upon new journeys in their life, I’m equally baffled at the institution and the huge baggage this brings into an individual’s life and these people calling and anticipating their biggest romance in life is about to be started which I hope for of course. But,  oddly and understandably most weddings I have been part of, have been arranged; processed and scheduled by the elderly from both sides. What continues to surprise me is how two people, two educated people, vary of the world around ‘em, vary of the emotional and behavioral imbalances, can agree to spend their lives together over just one meeting and that too, in presence of a huge mob by considering only financial and economic stability as the barometer for the all-awaited-and-most-important event in their life to happen. I am not saying, they don’t work out well or they don’t fit well together or anything. For me personally, that’s not the kind of romance that connects. So we have arrived at a kind of understanding about how this post is gonna look like, haven’t we? This is only my personal opinion and I am not condescending the institution of marriage or arranged marriage per se.

Of all the arguments and about-life discussions I have had with family, friends and others, wise men and women or otherwise alike, what I have learned and understood is, Life is beyond survival. Its ok if you are not the best person on the planet, its ok if you are just ordinary, its ok if you are not the richest one in your family tree but its not ok if you don’t have a decent enough story to tell your grandchildren about your life when you turn 60. I’m not saying the whole arranged weddings don’t make up for good stories but I’m just saying, it is not the kind of stories I would want to tell my grandchildren. (That if all of us live beyond 2012, of course).

For me the kind of it that’s most fascinating is how two people meet each other and over a period time grow into knowing each other and reach a stage where they can anticipate each other’s emotion when certain thing happens but still be their own while loving and respecting the other – that makes up for a bloody good story for me. Either that or meeting someone all of a sudden on a journey or something and getting to know ‘em like really well and deciding to spend the rest of your life together. Its still better than meeting someone over a cup of coffee in a family get together and deciding to spend your rest of your life with ‘em – I know its a load of bullshit, but that is what ticks for me! If there was any magic left in the world, it would be in understanding someone and wanting to be with someone despite their inherent inconsistencies. I know its difficult and sometimes even challenging but who cares really? the attempt matters more.  May be sometimes the greatest romances in your life won’t last long, but there is nothing wrong about it really. When I talk about the greatest romance of my life, I want to be able to sing a waltz to that one and for me to be able to sing a waltz to her, she should be special. Special in my heart, special in my life and not be a part of stories I tell but be the stories I tell.

Only then, I could sing something like this to her like the guy from the Before Sunrise film….

Daydream delusion/Limousine eyelash/Oh baby with your pretty face/Drop a tear in my wineglass/Look at those big eyes/See what you mean to me/Sweetcakes and milkshakes/I’m a delusional angel/I’m a fantasy parade/I want you to know what I think/Don’t want you to guess anymore/You have no idea where I came from?/You have no idea where we are going?/Launched in life, like branches in the river/Flowing downstream, caught in the current/I’ll carry you and you’ll carry me/That’s how it could be/Don’t you know me/Don’t you know me by now!

Or perhaps its just the 24 year old romantic in me talking, if I ever happen to revisit the same thing 10 years from now. I might as well flag it as spam. Time is such a bitch!

The Genius of Mark Twain.

A friend of mine asked today, “Brief about Mark Twain and that’ll kinda give an insight about him to those who haven’t read him”. And I thought why not! And if I were to do it, what would be a better place than Internet. So here it is. In this post/essay, I’m not going to talk about Twain the American superstar, or Twain the greatest humorist. I am only going to talk about the influence he’s had on us, even 101 years after he bid adieu to us. So what is it about Mark Twain really? I’m no pundit to do an accurate meta-physical dissection on, The Twain Realism. However, I’m going to talk about what Twain managed to do uniquely that others couldn’t.

1. What is so fascinating about Mark Twain really?

Most people take up to reading when they are around 10 and to serious reading, when they are 14-ish. And to a young boy, the fascinating things in life are the alignment of stars in the sky, the dark caves in a far away land, the river ripples and some magic realism (usually). And this is where Twain gets a nod convincingly head and shoulders above his contemporaries. He was the first of his kind, the writing style so relaxed, the characters you could relate to and incidents with a touch of magic realism and happy endings honey-coated with wit and sarcasm which is good enough to have a 14 year old hooked to it.

2. So Twain’s just that? A humorist and genial chronicler of childhood?

It is unfortunate that most people who have read Twain or claim to have, talk about his humour and how his writings shaped their childhood and stop at that. No doubt, his fame rests on the nostalgic boyhood stories about the river, and the humour. What most people inevitably miss out or choose to ignore is the near-nihilism in his later works, the dark side of his humour. But apparently, it has never been eye catchy to anyone partly due to the fact that, we have always had writers in abundance to talk about sedate stuff without any vernacular language. So would you be remembering Twain if it wasn’t for his humour? If you liked his Joan of Arc, then you would, otherwise not.

3. Fine he was funny. But we have had so many other funny writers, so what is the big deal about Twain’s humour?

The simplicity of it and the subtle pokes at the world around him. Quote – “Jim Smiley, in his most famous story (“The Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaveras County”), jolts you with his incongruity, his willingness to gamble about anything, even the death of the Parson’s wife. With Huck Finn, there’s all the hypocrisy he sees along the river“. His humour has transcended eras, simply because he talked about the world around him and applied the concept of magic realism to set things alright at the end, instead of neatly having things coiffed for the protagonist from the beginning.

4. So the style of his writing?

I am going to quote Earnest Hemingway here, “All American Literature comes from Mark Twain”. He was the Walt Whitman of prose. And what is eye catchy for a 21st century reader in Mark Twain is that you can read(“hear”) how people spoke in his day, since he sort of writes dialogue phonetically. (I’m thinking Huckleberry Finn). Our language today is so different, and its just plain interesting to see the change. And isn’t it fun to be living in another generation? All of us would have wanted to do so, at some point or other in our life. And Twain through his works, just manages to do that.

5. So what? There are so many other heroes, starting from the Alexander and the Romeo for the purists to Spiderman and Superman for the young age readers, no?

Well, there are. But to me personally, the most fascinating thing about being a hero is being normal. You want your hero to be like you and do greater and awesomer things making you feel, “Aah, I could’ve done exactly the same if I was him”. And that’s precisely what sets apart Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn or for that matter, Herge’s Tintin or Peter Parker (not Spiderman) from the rest. They are just like us, only more intellectual. And that’s just good enough for you to be wanting to be like ‘em. They never cease to inspire you and push you a notch further, because they never let go off their most powerful weapon, ‘common sense’. And of course, the joy of living and experiencing life.

6. What did Mark Twain teach me anyway?

Mark twain taught me my sense of what it means to be a friend, the value of courage, and to expect common sense from others is to exhibit a lack oneself.

And on Samuel Langhorne Clemens’s 176th today, lets all relive all the moments again. I sign off with one my most favourite lines ever written, “The elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time“. Mark Twain, FTW!

Enough of, “Oh she is a girl and she has done it” already!

“Oh she has done it”, “Its fabulous, how a woman can accomplish such things”, “Its amazing how she can lead a department, inspite of being a woman” – Enough of these already. Unfortunately, I have been getting to read/hear a lot of these of late and I swear to god, it is absolutely freaking me off. Well before I have all the dimwitted pro-feminists (I’m one, but witted) take a dig at me and all those “Read the article title, and screw the author” guys yell out big things, I would like to clarify that this ain’t anything intending to hurt the woman/[girl] sentiment.

Women are not exactly as sensitive (physically or mentally) like the new age thinkers claim that they are. They are far more potent and extremely talented as much as any other species on this darn planet is. So if you don’t call a man picking his kid from school everyday awesome, don’t call a woman who does the same thing as awesome. The point is we are just adding up to the already existing intricacies of the society. If a person, be it a man or woman does great things, appreciate ‘em irrespective of the gender, show ‘em the same respect. I understand that some detractors might be hell bent upon not agreeing to this line of argument, citing and attributing the whole ‘managing the family’ to a woman and therefore tend to magnify every little thing they do.

But, what they don’t get is, as we keep doing this, the feeling that women are a weaker race can never be brought down and in a society where you want equality for women in everything, the practice ain’t helping the cause. I am not sure, how many new age women actually like it when they are bracketed as awesome for little things they do. For all we must know, they are humans and stop magnifying everything they do. We are not empowering them by doing that, we are only making them feel much more insecure. The feeling that, “Inspite of being a woman, I have done this” is not good, not good at all. Imagine someday if a lady who is leading a product department or leading a country for all we care, makes a mistake and then thinks to herself, “Well, I am a woman so I can afford to” – That would be the most depressing justification ever. And that’s just one hypothetical instance.

To conclude – Give them space to grow. We are never going to get anywhere as long as we treat them as some alien creatures. Respect people, not race, gender or any darn thing for that matter. Period.

When a System Fails!

First a story that my mum told me when I was a kid….

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Once upon a time in a distant land, there was a village that had a bakery that was famous for delicious pineapple cakes. The cakes tasted sublime and the villagers took pride in that and they owned the bakery together. The cakes attracted people from all the neighboring villages and the pineapple was supplied to the bakery by the farms in that village. The bakery had enough and more advertisement by whoever visited it, at least once and gradually the village prospered.

One year, however the village suffered a drought, there were no rains and gradually the quality of the pineapple took a blight. The bakery still continued to produce cakes except that they dint taste half as good as they had been before. Gradually, customers stopped buying as many cakes. The village people called up on a meeting to discuss about this.

To most of them, the solution seemed very clear – they felt that the competency level of the bakers had come down. Some of them felt, the bakers should be tested before they were handed over this job, some felt there should be a quality analyst at the end of cake making process whose job was to decide if a cake could go on to sale or to be withheld. Some felt the set up had to be revamped. One of them dint wait to point out that he’d seen a ‘modern’ bakery last week, completely equipped, in a far away village that sold pineapple cakes that tasted sublime and felt, for the village to prosper again, they needed modern equipment. All the villagers felt, every solution that was proposed was right and set out on implementing all of them. Some bakers were sacked, some new appointed, new hi-tech equipment and new microwave ovens had been bought before that. A quality analyst was also added.

Two years had passed after that, but the quality of pineapple cakes showed no improvement. The villagers continued to undertake more and more reforms with a desperation to restore the pride of their village’s bakery. As good as their intentions had been, the lack of rains dint help. Nobody even noticed and or even talked about rains.

Third year, there were rains. The quality of pineapple had improved and the cakes started to taste delicious again and the village got back into track. The village heads called up on another meeting to discuss the issue. After much speculation about what had caused the turnabout the villagers agreed on that all these wise heads had always been right and it took a while for their reforms to show results. And they decided, if the quality of the cakes were to go down again, these would be the exact set of rules they’ll have to follow to get it back on track again.

What all of them failed to realize was it was never the system that failed them, it were the rains and as a result, the bakery had not so good pineapples and they apparently wouldn’t taste as good. The pineapples that were supplied was the problem.

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As with this imaginary village, in our society when a system fails, wise minds inevitably suggest reforms that have to be put in place for the system to have it’s glory restored or achieve glory, if it already hasn’t. The fact that they conveniently ignore is that, systems are not built out of thin air just like that. They are built keeping in mind the social circle they will have to cater to after they have been built and are always built by men who are really wise than mere hypocrites. If an educational system fails, it’s not entirely because of the schools and colleges that are a part of the system, it’s also because of the students that enrolled in it. You always see those students, who have been under the constant supervision of their parents or the elderly and those of whom, that have been taught about the society and it’s values and the value of education or the importance being good – have continuously done well academically, professionally and personally if I might add, socially, as well.

Similarly if you look at a political system, people like Mr. Kalam or Mr. Jayaprakash Narayan (would) have revolutionized the current political proposition for good. You can’t expect an illiterate who was brought up with an emotional, moral and ethical range of a tea spoon to make a difference to the world. And when such systems fail, borrowing thousands of crores of rupees from swiss bank isn’t going to help anyone. It’s surprising how generations after generations of us pay no heed to it, but believe that the systems in place haven’t been offering any incentive for us to grow.

We refuse to acknowledge this fact because, if we start talking about, ‘an illiterate from a poor moral and ethical background’ not being eligible for an elite political post, there are always going to be voices that’ll tell us how we are being indifferent to classes and we inevitably begin to sound like we are talking about race differences. That’s because class still correlates significantly to race in our society. So to suggest that people of generational ‘ethical and moral’ poverty (have got nothing to do with economical and financial statuses here) will frequently have different ethical and social values than those entrenched otherwise – and those poor values don’t really mesh well with the system’s success – is to risk being called a racist.

So, is there no solution to it? … Well, not one immediately….For us to achieve an equivalent society we have to work collectively…

It becomes every parent’s job to educate their kids about moral systems first and then the ethical systems and how to be good and supportive, forgiving to the world around and how to be self-sufficient. Teachers at school will have to take it up from parents and channel that. As we grow up, it becomes our responsibility to co-exist with people around us with the same set of ideologies, as we become elderly it’s a necessity that we imbibe the same value system to our kids and the process should go on. Those who ‘know’ what is right and what is wrong shouldn’t shy away from public. Again, ‘knowing right or wrong’ is tricky. All of us like to believe what we ‘know/say’ is right, but deep down, we inevitably know, what we know is ‘right or wrong’. We should choose to acknowledge our soul and live by that moral ground.

If a system failed, it would not just be ONLY because the system had glitches but also because the people that it catered to were just not good enough for it to sustain. A good system or a society isn’t one which has financial or economical equivalence, but it is the one with moral equivalence.

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This is no value embodiment lecture and the opinion expressed is my personal. If it sounded like, I generalized a bit, it’s only because I was trying to project the inherent inconsistencies in us with some intensity but definitely not rubbing off my perspective on the readers. It’s just my mental construction, my idiosyncrasy.

Great Expectations – The connect!

It’s never really that I’ve posted something on my blog that’s not written by me. I have just finished reading Great Expectations for – I don’t know like 20th time or so. Up until last time, I read it like I had read any other book. Well, the last time I had picked it up was 2 years ago. Now that, I have read it again, I seem to relate to the book more than I did before. It’s the phase in the book, where the protagonist was a kid that I’m able to relate to. Also,to the phase when all the characters attain some sort of a stability. These are the two phases I’m able to relate to more than the phase I should ideally be relating to, the growing up phase. Ironic? I don’t know what it is. But, I’m definitely smitten by the following lines.

Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Estella , to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may. O God bless you, God forgive you!

I don’t see Pip’s love for Estella there. I see Pip’s state of mind; balanced, complacent and quite at equilibrium which is so [un]common for someone who’s been through a lot in their life? I don’t see any desire in him. All I see is vacantness, understandable of course. I see how to get to equilibrium, I see how to see things in the idealistic way possible and boy! I couldn’t be more happier. Have I started to grow up eventually? I don’t know.

The Actualization of the Artificial

Have you ever felt that the actualization of the artificial solicits complete familiarization with the natural? All though, some purists might argue that it would induce plastic individuality, there by announcing departure from instinctive naturalism. But think about it. If the artificial was actualized, then all those pseudo-portrayals and even pseudo-elastic-definitions and some dreams, will all eventually come true for the fact that, you make a desperate attempt to actualize the artificial there by learning the complete vocabulary of the natural, which otherwise might not have been possible.

The most amazing part of the whole process is you get to be the main protagonist in your stories, you get to be the center of gravity for those artificialities you knit in. Of all our imaginations; Of all the realities around us; Of the historic occurrences that have shaped the world into its present form; And, of the shape the world happens to take in the tomorrow thats about to come; Of all our legends and myths; Of all our predictions and abstractions; We shall always remain the protagonist. That’s the perspective.

Amidst all of it, there might be some thought that could haunt us. Why try and actualize some thing artificial when the real itself gives you kicks? We would perhaps never be inspired more by anything than what happened to us in our life. All of us have felt elated on some occasions, got moved on others, hysterically ecstatic on some other. We’ve been through so much in life. A lot of it has happened to us physically, mentally and even emotionally. We have maneuvered through some of the most abysmal emotional lows and some extremely frantic appeals by others to us, and to add some amazingly soothing personal, professional and emotional highs. That’s quite a substance. All very capable of kicks. But, come on, what are fairy tales for?

Imagine what would happen to life, if we had no control over it. With the stuff we keep up with in our life, if we had to adhere to the, “time gives the answer” philosophy, we would be going no where. The actualization of artificial could be best thought about as a process of full-filling your childhood dreams. How cool it would be if you became someone like your childhood hero or you did something, that you always imagined about when you were a kid. Trust me, there’s no bigger pleasure than that. The only difference between the people who live their life to the fullest and those who don’t is this. This is geometrically, a very thin line but a dimensionally significant one. There’s nothing you could boast of in your life to generations to come, if you let life take the decisions for you. Forget about it, even when you look back, by god, it would be an awful realization for you that for a good amount of time in your life, you’ve done everything meaningless and succumbed to life’s way of living and that would not be pleasing. And, that’s no ideal way to live.

So the point I wanted to make – Actualizing the artificial doesn’t mean faking about something and plunging head-along to get that done or make it true. It implies meeting brow-on-brow with those dreams of yours when you were a kid, or achieving those things, about which you were so desperate. This won’t be taught to you at schools or colleges. The process must entirely be self-realizable. Once it gets diffused, you take yourself a notch higher, above that bar that “life” has set for you, to that bar which epitomizes your victory over hypercritically proposed way of living. That’s life and that’s heartwarming. Above all, it has got enough kicks. So, dream on.